Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re probably now in a state of dismay about the fact you unwillingly, at some point, have consumed horse meat. For me, this isn’t the biggest scandal at all, and as long as the meat is meat, I don’t see the problem. However it has turned the bellies of many Britons and has risen the re-birth of the fake vegetarian.
I, as a practicing fake vegetarian, feel a bit cheated here. Up until about the age of 15 most meat terrified me, and I pretty much avoided it at most costs. Then I had my first steak and everything changed. Even though I was a little bit late down the line, I enjoyed protein at every given opportunity and that iron deficiency problem I had cleaned up pretty quickly, though I still bruise ridiculously easily. When I came to university though, that was all taken away from me pretty fast. I had the choice, either eat meat that is unethically sound but relatively cheap, or quit the animals quickly. I know I could have got stuck in with the cheap Asda offcuts but I couldn’t quite brace myself to do that, and decided not to buy it unless I had to. Which meant a really carb filled first year, and carbs are the enemy.
Second year came about and I lived with two vegetarians amongst the carnivores, and another health-conscious individual who terrified me with stories of high saturated fat in all your favourite meals. So the switch to Quorn seemed natural. At first I thought it was gross, I remember being taught in year 9 how they make Quorn and it turned my stomach a bit, but not as much as battery farming does, so I gave it a try. It was delicious, it was cheap, it was ethical and it was healthy, and the best thing was, Sainsbury’s always had deals on. 3 for 2’s here, BOGOFs there, I was living in a happy haze of guilt free food and felt 10x better about myself as the days went on.
Then the horse meat scandal had to go and fucking ruin it. Want statistics? Look no further than this Guardian article. Gone were the wide array of offers. Gone were my personal favourites (pesto and mozzarella escalopes). I felt like I had to fight tooth and nail a couple of occasions to even get the deal on the Linda McCartney sausages, that disappeared from the shelves one week after. I didn’t want people to know my secrets, that you could eat food that tastes like meat for so much cheaper and so much healthier. It’s something vegetarians have known for years, and something carnivores have just neglected. My weekly shop went up a tenner. I was left with the less appetising offers. If you think I felt bad, can you imagine how the real vegetarians feel? My housemates are seriously ticked off, though one of them is marginally happier because her boyfriend wants to try out the alternatives as well now rather than her slaving over a lentil curry to try and find a median meal for the pair.
Fake vegetarianism has taken over and although I whine I suppose it’s a good thing, because it’s making me think about someone other than myself (a rarity – I’m a 20 year old art student, being self involved is part of the job), and realise the positive aspects this is going to have on the community. Meat production is a massive drain on our fossil fuels, is a pioneer of animal cruelty, and a huge product of greenhouse gasses, and I’m seriously start thinking of going the whole hog and cutting out meat altogether (pun very much intended). Saying this, I live in a student town where being vegan seems to be the new vogue and the coolest hang out is a vegetarian café, so I’m not sure how much difference my input really is going to make.
punching 